Now, I have just been accused
of being a Pole:
A customer has just accosted me and insisted that I should speak Polish to her on the basis that I am a Pole or of Polish descent. I will admit that I currently possess the following stereotypical attributes of a Pole:
1. wearing white & red tracksuit top
2. am less than shaven
3. have gloom
4. look somewhat surly
5. probably have Catholic guilt
6. live in Ealing
7. am bonkers
8. go to Polish food shops
However, I do not:
1. drink (anymore)
2. speak Polish
3. work as a builder, painter or decorator
4. think of John Paul II as a national hero
So on the balance of probability, I could be a Pole. Maybe I have found my spiritual home in Ealing.
A customer has just accosted me and insisted that I should speak Polish to her on the basis that I am a Pole or of Polish descent. I will admit that I currently possess the following stereotypical attributes of a Pole:
1. wearing white & red tracksuit top
2. am less than shaven
3. have gloom
4. look somewhat surly
5. probably have Catholic guilt
6. live in Ealing
7. am bonkers
8. go to Polish food shops
However, I do not:
1. drink (anymore)
2. speak Polish
3. work as a builder, painter or decorator
4. think of John Paul II as a national hero
So on the balance of probability, I could be a Pole. Maybe I have found my spiritual home in Ealing.
posted by lukeski at 5:15 pm
6 Comments:
Do you cry? You should have just collapsed into a flood of tears, and she would have cried with you and all would have been well. Although, admittedly, this would have only fuelled her suspicions.
YOU'VE GIVEN UP DRINK?
Yes. The pills I am on preclude drinking. They do, however, make me feel like I have drunk 6-8 bottles of red wine the night before each and every morning. No crying, unfortunately.
Gosh, I hope they're good pills to preclude alcohol.
I'm in an anti-booze mood again. I might join you on the wagon in an act of long-distance solidarity.
I visited the pub this afternoon and indulged in the following:
1 Coca Cola
2 fresh Orange Juices
1 Bacon and Cheese steak burger with potato wedges
1 Curly Wurly
2 Bitburger Drives
What's a Bitburger Drive? Alcohol-free beer? Maybe I won't give up booze after all...
0,5% - I can;t imagine it being big in Deutschland. Although, alcohol-free Becks is widely available in Ireland, even in Goleen.
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