Jokes
A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a leopard walks past and looks up and says to the monkey, "Hey! What are you doing?"
The monkey says, "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."
So the leopard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have a few tokes together.
After a while the leopard says his mouth is 'dry' and that he's going to get a drink from the river.
The leopard climbs down the tree, and races on thru the jungle to the river and leans over the river to get his drink.
Well, the leopard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.
A Crocodile sees this, swims over and helps him to the side, then asks the leopard "What's the matter with you?"
The leopard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in a tree and smoking a joint with the monkey and got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.
The crocodile says he's gotta check this hippie monkey out and walks off into the jungle where he finds the tree where the monkey is still sitting and toking on the joint.
He looks up and says "hey you!"
The Monkey looks down and says, "fuuuuccckkkk dude.............how much water did you drink????"
A man was sitting at home one evening, when the doorbell rang. When he answered the door, a 6 foot tall cockroach was standing there. The cockroach immediately punched him between the eyes and scampered off.
The next evening, the man was sitting at home when the doorbell rang again. When he answered the door, the cockroach was there again. This time, it punched him, kicked him and karate chopped him before running away.
The third evening, the man was sitting at home when the doorbell rang. When he answered the door, the cockroach was there yet again. It leapt at him and stabbed him several times before running off. The gravely injured man managed to crawl to the telephone and summoned an ambulance. He was rushed to intensive care, where they saved his life. The next morning, the doctor was doing his rounds. He asked the man what happened, so the man explained about the 6 foot cockroach's attacks, culminating in the near fatal stabbing.
The doctor thought for a moment and said, "Yes, there's a nasty bug going around."
The monkey says, "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."
So the leopard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have a few tokes together.
After a while the leopard says his mouth is 'dry' and that he's going to get a drink from the river.
The leopard climbs down the tree, and races on thru the jungle to the river and leans over the river to get his drink.
Well, the leopard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.
A Crocodile sees this, swims over and helps him to the side, then asks the leopard "What's the matter with you?"
The leopard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in a tree and smoking a joint with the monkey and got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.
The crocodile says he's gotta check this hippie monkey out and walks off into the jungle where he finds the tree where the monkey is still sitting and toking on the joint.
He looks up and says "hey you!"
The Monkey looks down and says, "fuuuuccckkkk dude.............how much water did you drink????"
A man was sitting at home one evening, when the doorbell rang. When he answered the door, a 6 foot tall cockroach was standing there. The cockroach immediately punched him between the eyes and scampered off.
The next evening, the man was sitting at home when the doorbell rang again. When he answered the door, the cockroach was there again. This time, it punched him, kicked him and karate chopped him before running away.
The third evening, the man was sitting at home when the doorbell rang. When he answered the door, the cockroach was there yet again. It leapt at him and stabbed him several times before running off. The gravely injured man managed to crawl to the telephone and summoned an ambulance. He was rushed to intensive care, where they saved his life. The next morning, the doctor was doing his rounds. He asked the man what happened, so the man explained about the 6 foot cockroach's attacks, culminating in the near fatal stabbing.
The doctor thought for a moment and said, "Yes, there's a nasty bug going around."
posted by lukeski at 1:20 pm
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